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| is a very wierd song by Regina Spektor. ohh life. Life has made several things impossibly apparent to me, so that means I must share them with you, dear reader. First: I love lists. I can't freaking live with out them. I even put stuff that has already been done on said lists so I can cross them out! obsession much?! yes. very. even this blog is a list of sorts. I need one of these. http://scumbugg.deviantart.com/art/Kalila-s-Notepad-Tattoo-55183995Secondly: It is impossible to laugh hysterically and go to the bathroom simultaneously.
moving on.
Thirdly: Ive found my true calling.
Im dropping out of school to become a 'Custon "My Little Pony" Designer'.
or perhaps I'll just find a school with that major.
OH.EM.GEE. I can't believe Ive been missing out on this my whole life.
These things sell for like 50 bucks a pop.
I'll be filthy rich.
WAHAHAHA.
http://woosie.deviantart.com/art/My-Little-Skeletor-53086971Fourthly: Back to that age old subject. CAFFINE. now I don't intent to once again rave about its magical healing abilities (its true.) or how it makes all of like a little bit brighter, but to talk about the subject of determination in comparisson to caffine.
Determination. I find that the more caffinated I am, the more determined I am.
Like for instance Ive just been challenged to a "who can eat the most hotdogs and not barf contest" and Ive had no caffine.
I'd be like "no way man, thats nastly, and hotdogs are completlely made of bugs anyway"
But If I threw about a cup and a half of coffee into the mix the answer would be more like "WOOOOAHHH. ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLENGE!!? YOU are SOOO going down. no way you can eat more hotdogs that me!...." and continuing smack talk, followed by ingestion of gross processed bugs and then probably vomit.
What was my point, you might ask?
Im not sure.
Except a warning- use that determination for good. not evil. Be determined to make the world a better pla.... oh bah. humbug.
Nextly: Games like "Age of Empires" or "Civilization" just set you up for depression. I mean C'MON! Your empire is doing just dandy and all the sudden Rome is attacking! and then the PEOPLE GET THE FREAKING BUBONIC PLAUGE! and then fire! and dissention in the ranks! and death! and defeat and destruction.
All in about 20 minutes!
Talk about setting kids up for anexiety problems for the rest of their lives.
Frearing colossal meltdown of society any second.
psssh. I know I do NOW.
thanks Age of Empires. thanks alot.
Lastly: I am an angry photographer with no models.
ANGRY? yes. why?
BECAUSE I HAVE NO MODELS.
still life can only get-cha so far.
okayokay Im not really angry, but I would simply love to take pictures of you if you would like your picture taken.
we can get coffee too.
It'd be a blast.
so dear reader this is the conclusion of this particular late night rant.
hope you havent been bored to tears.
much love.
Jordan
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| how they make me laugh. "Don't hang that tire swing close to the fence, cause kids will fall off and get impaled."
My sister throws a nalgene at me and smacks my fingers
"I learned not to play with her"
oh mamma. | | |
| so. 2007 gone already.
this year I have discorvered many new and interesting facts about myself.
I think I shall share a couple of them with you, dear reader.
First, I am the worst secret santa in the entire world.
You don't want me as your secret santa.
You may end up with a battery run hamster, a neon orange lava lamp, and a ridiculously furry vest, or even a harry potter watch.
I just see these things in the store and my brain says to me "Jordan, you need to gift that to someone. for serious."
but c'mon folks, lets be real.
Who in their right mind would not want to gift these items to unsuspecting friends?
Second, My life goals dont seem to change much over the years.
My number one goal is still to run up a wall and do a flip.
hasn't changed in like 5 years. Im getting closer to actually being able to do it.
also to become a rockstar. Working on that one too.
and to own a coffee shop with lots of tatooed baristas when Im about 50.
I got some time to work that one out.
I recently talked to my cousin jessie, and she told me about her 5 year plan.
If all goes well, she'll have a house, a truck, a degree and her own horse (she already bought the horse).
woah.
maybe I should get me some better goals.
Umm okay, so there wasnt actually a third point that I had.
sorry to disapoint.
(wahahahaha that was punny. -sorta.)
Yall should look up what Demetri Martin has to say about the word sorta.
good night and Godspeed.
jordan | | |
| yes thats right.
crazy.
So I wanted to put a few of my thoughts up for vote. Mainly vain thoughts perhaps.
item 1.
I want to dye my hair again.
I like reddishpurrpley.
I dont want to look like meredith from the office with red.
I dont want to ruin all family christmas foto opportunities with purple.
I dont want to pay for a professional "lightercaramelyblondethanIalreadyam"
end result: probably dont dye your hair.
item 2.
I am freaking out today.
I think I over dossed on caffine.
Im not being figurative here.
I have been so paranoid and nervous all day.
end result: dont do that many shots at work.
item 3.
I think I need glasses.
end result: get eye exam.
item 4.
I attribute the term "crazy" to myself. (usually followed by the term "ninja")
Im not entirely sure if that is because I actually am, I just like to think that I am, or because Ive adopted it because people have told me so.
end result: Im gonna go with option a.
item 5.
my stomach is feeling sicky.
too much media, (TV, computer, gamecube, ect...) make my stomach hurt.
wierd, a?
END RESULT: BED. | | |
| Ohh dear reader, Its been awhile.
I have several events/objects/what-ever-you-call-them to share with you today.
The first, an experience.
I suffer from a condition. It's called self doubt. okayokay, it's not really a condition, but it feels like one.
Its like having a cold that no matter how much airborne you drink, it just wont go away.
Anyway, the other night, I was driving home from work, and I was going through a particularly awful internal self doubt battle, and losing awfully. I prayed about it and almost instantly a song came on the radio. CRAZY! no no. It was crazy because the song was completely talking about not doubting yourself. WOAH. can I get another? WOAH.
ask me to tell you this story sometime.
there are handmotions and bulging eye movents that go with it.
The second, an object. Correction: a BRILLIANT object.
http://www.stupid.com/stat/BTFC.html
Btutt-face towel. So you wont ever have to wipe your face with the side of the towel that you wiped your butt on.
brilliance I tell you.
brilliance.
The third, an event.
I was driving down 50 the other day and some driver was trying to merge. INTO ANOTHER CAR! there was no way this girl could have fit inbetween that z3 and what ever was in front of it, but she insisted. in fact honked, was rude, and refused to not be let in, almost resulting in an accident. She also gave these cars about a second of notice that she was gonna merge. it was bad. But the Z3, they didn't like this at all. They pulled out passed them and got directly in front of bad driver, and slowed down. all in about 3 seconds. It was some amazing driving right there. bad driver proceeded to give Z3 the finger, and I proceeded to laugh.
great story, A?
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